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" What?" He's your father and it's tearing you apart that you've lost what you two had." I know. It's just... " It's just that you're being a spoiled little princess. I talked to him today. I don't know what's going on with him but I do know one thing. He feels as bad about losing you as you do about him. Maybe worse. At least you have someone. He has no one."I hadn't looked at it that way, but Jack was right. We all think of our parents as all-knowing, indestructible, able to stand up to anything, even when we play the stupid teenager games where we pretend we know everything there is to know and they don't know anything at all. Even though I'd heard him crying alone in his room for years, I didn't really believe he could be lonely. Maybe the whole thing with Wanda was simply to compensate for losing me. I wanted to grow up and be with Jack. But did I want to throw away almost fifteen years of my relationship with Daddy?I came back to the present and looked at Jack. He was just. It was the first time I'd ever had sex anywhere but in someone's home, and I was both thrilled and anxious at the same time. A mixture of alcohol and lust had battered down my natural inhibitions. I wanted him. He was living with someone and couldn't take me home. So it had to be there and then. I told him afterwards when we were sharing a drink:"I've never done it in a toilet before"Really? You've never been cottaging?"What's that?"It's what gay men call public loos. Cottages. I'm surprised you don't know that. Are you joking?" No. Seriously, I didn't know that, why would I?"Well most of us have had a fumble with a fella in a cottage at some time, you telling me you really haven't?"No I swear! It never even occurred to me..."Well, you've a lot of fun ahead of you then haven't you!" he replied.I thought about what he said a lot over the next week, but didn't really know where to start. A few weeks later, I'm in the same club and saw him again. We gave each other 'the eye' and within.
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